Hit up the vending machine for some embarrassment-soothing carbs

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Now, you'd expect the one place in this game where you might have a real plethora of choices would be on the page that talks about the vending machine, right? Well, it's true that the vending machine does have a lot of different goodies in it, but none of them can sooth the sting of embarrassment! But, what the hell, might as well grab something while you're here and maybe even steer the storyline into an unexpected dark alley.

Do you

Stare at the hypnotic, ever-changing lighting and wonder who the awesome person is who made them

Hum the theme to Star Wars

Put some money in the machine and press some buttons at random

Say 'I wonder from where Ted got his fez' and other awkward phrases